


A Simple Misunderstanding Predicated Upon a Tiny Bit of Misdirection

by larkscope



Category: Pride and Prejudice & Related Fandoms, Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
Genre: Altered Family Dynamics, Bennets are titled, Elizabeth has connections in the Ton, Epistolary, F/M, Mistaken Identity, prose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-21
Updated: 2017-07-21
Packaged: 2018-12-04 02:43:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11545830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/larkscope/pseuds/larkscope
Summary: Elizabeth is the daughter of an earl, yet insists on being informally (or rather, incorrectly) addressed. This causes a bit of misunderstanding with Mr. Darcy.





	A Simple Misunderstanding Predicated Upon a Tiny Bit of Misdirection

**Author's Note:**

> Henry Bennet, Isabella Bennet, and Fitzroy Bennet were all real people. The Earl of Arlington and Viscount Thetford are real titles. I have borrowed these names and titles for this story, but nothing else about them. Euston and Dawley House were also properties that belonged to the Bennets, but like the people they belonged to in real life, in my story they don't bear a resemblance to the real things.

Netherfield Park, Hertfordshire 

_Dear Uncle Henry,_

_Thank you for your assurances! Had my vanity been so mortally wounded I believe I would have taken to my bed with an attack of nerves to rival Mama’s. Luckily, my fondness for the absurd has allowed me to take much enjoyment in the situation. Indeed, I am at this very moment writing in the same room as the Great Offender. We have sparred on a few occasions. I cannot help myself as he continually provokes me by staring at me in displeasure, pompously disparages women’s accomplishments, admits he has a poor character whose greatest defect is implacable resentment, yet claims his pride is under good regulation, and goads me with impertinent offers to dance just to laugh at my taste and provoke me into showing a lack of decorum. He would be an insufferable man if he did not appear so absurd whilst spouting off such ridiculous comments. So I must make sport of him. It can be without a doubt that I appear unhinged as I laugh whilst writing this letter._

_You may well wonder how I came to be in such a situation as to be writing a letter in the same room as the Great Offender. Dear Mama, ever concerned that the hedgerows may one day rise up and attack her, sent poor Jane to visit our new neighbors. On horseback. In the rain. Although, to her credit, it did not start raining until Jane was more than halfway from home. It can be no surprise that Jane caught ill. It can be even less of a surprise that I trekked to Netherfield the following day- on foot of course. I was quite wild in my appearance with actual mud visible on my boots and petticoats. Oh, the scandal! The Superior Sisters no doubt took this as confirmation of my low birth and poor upbringing. Since then I have been a guest here whilst tending to Jane._

“To whom are you writing Lizzy?” asked Jane.

“To Uncle Henry,” Elizabeth replied with a mischievous smile.

Jane asked Elizabeth to send her regards.

Miss Bingley, sensing an opportunity to further denigrate the Bennet sisters asked, “Miss Eliza, would that be your uncle from Cheapside?”

Elizabeth replied that he was not the same uncle.

“And where does this uncle reside?”

“He is currently in London.”

“I see,” Miss Bingley replied with a smirk, thinking the man must be some sort of destitute gypsy to not have a settled home. “With so many relations in London I am surprised you do not travel there often or hear more about the fashions of town. But as your relations are in trade I suppose they do not have much time to invite you to visit or send you the latest fashion magazines.”

“On the contrary, Miss Bingley, Jane often visits with our Aunt and Uncle Gardiner and I spend much of the year with Uncle Henry. As Uncle Gardiner owns a fabric warehouse, he and his wife know all the latest fashions. That is the benefit of having relations in trade; one gets access to the best fabrics available, but as a tradesman’s daughter you must know that yourself. Indeed, you are always dressed in the latest fashions.”

After a pause in which Miss Bingley valiantly tried to think of something to say that would make Mr. Darcy forget her parents had ever been in trade, Elizabeth said, “And now I fear I must return to my letter, else suffer the reputation of a lax correspondent.” And so she continued writing:

_Since writing the above I have received a number of quizzical glances as a result of my laughter, which only increases my amusement. Even dear Jane, who has only just this evening been able to leave her room, wonders what I am about. When I told her to whom I am writing she smiled and asked me to give you her fondest regards. We have decided to leave the Superior Sisters guessing as to who you might be. No doubt they imagine you to be a great, vulgar oaf who, like the estimable Gardiners, resides in Cheapside._

_But I fear I must leave you now as Jane appears tired. I do not wish her to overexert herself, even if she is in a state of bliss being in such close company with Mr. Bingley, whose attentions this evening have been very marked and solicitous. Although, dear Uncle, I am afraid I cannot take all the credit for being an attentive and loving sister as I am not without self interest, for the sooner I bid you adieu, the sooner I can leave the presence of this exalted company!_

_Your savage niece,_

_Elizabeth Bennet_

_p.s. Give my love to cousin Edward._

* * *

 

Longbourne, Hertfordshire 

_Dear Uncle Henry,_

_I truly have no idea what to say! So much has happened. The most significant of which includes a ball, a rejected proposal, an accepted proposal, and an absconding._

_The Netherfield ball was last week, and Jane took up almost all of Mr. Bingley’s attention, although he did spare me a dance. Unfortunately, it fell to my lot to dance with the two most disagreeable men there, whilst the amiable officer I had hoped to dance with, a Mr. Wickham, was not in attendance. Do not worry, Uncle; I have no designs on him, I merely enjoy his company. He had kept away from the ball because of the Great Offender, with whom he grew up and who treated him infamously by refusing him the living left to him by his godfather (the father of the Great Offender). Mr. Collins, my other dance partner and the cousin upon whom Longbourne is entailed, is the most ridiculous man I have ever met. A greater mix of self-important toadying and obviously false flattery I have never before seen. He solicited my first set and managed to thoroughly embarrass me by trodding upon my toes and moving in the wrong direction as often as could be possible whilst still performing something that looked vaguely like a dance. Then, the Great Offender and I shared a most disagreeable set, where his comments about his old childhood friend only confirmed his unfair implacability. As if that were not bad enough, the entire family (excluding Jane of course) decided to exhibit themselves in the most improper manner. I shall not burden you with a list detailing their mortifying behavior._

_Thinking that my monthly allotment of mortification had been used up, I went to breakfast the next morning, grateful that at least Mr. Bingley had not seemed to notice the family’s improprieties. I was very soon to find out that even more mortification was in store for me. Mr. Collins proposed. Matrimony. To me. His long winded proposal mainly focused on the great condescension of his esteemed patroness Lady Catherine de Bourgh. He did once mention the violence of his affection, but a more contrived and false expression I have never before heard. Oh no, the great advantages of the match and the wish of his patroness that he take a wife were much more important. And expounded upon at length. So favorable a situation has he that he could not believe that my multiple refusals were serious. He attributed them to the usual practice of elegant females by first refusing the man they secretly mean to accept. Have you ever heard of such a thing?! Unsurprisingly, Mama was in fits that I refused and Papa steadfastly supported my refusal. Of course, once Papa reminded Mama of my situation she stopped being so verbose in her displeasure, instead entreating me to entreat you to take care of her, as of course, is your duty. I shall leave it up to you how much duty you do or do not feel._

_Only a few days later, Charlotte Lucas informed me that she was engaged to be married to Mr. Collins. Two proposals in three days! If I had not already been convinced that his regard for me was entirely imaginary, this would have decided it. I must admit I am deeply disappointed in Charlotte. I had thought her to be imminently sensible, but she has tied herself to such a fool. I greatly worry for her future felicity, although she assures me that all she wants is a comfortable home and secure future. She does not wish to be a burden to her family. It is a rather depressing situation._

_The unfortunate event came in the form of a note from Caroline Bingley, informing Jane that the entire party had quit Netherfield and was unlikely to return as they were all eager to see Miss Darcy, who shall soon be married to her brother. I tried to point out the ridiculousness and unlikelihood of such a communication given the great pomposity of the Superior Sisters, but Jane is abjectly sad. Thankfully, the Gardiners shall soon be here. The effervescent spirits of their children and the sound and steady advice and presence of Aunt Gardiner shall hopefully restore us all to rights. The only thing that could improve my mood would be to see you, dear Uncle, but I cannot leave Jane right now and could not imagine you making the trip to Longbourne at such a time, especially when all the guest rooms are occupied and Mama still cannot stand to hear your name after your set down of her during your last visit. What was that? Some ten years ago? I greatly look forward to seeing you and Edward in town in the coming year and shall be counting down the days to our reunion._

_Now that I have given you a full accounting of our not-so-dull life here in sleepy Hertforshire, please tell me how things fare with you and my cousin, and remind him that he owes me a new dress and a pair of gloves after his rather infamous treatment of my person last time I was at Dawley House. For if he does not make reparations, I may be forced to ruin that dashing white coat of his in a similar manner as he did my white dress._

_With affection to you both,_

_Elizabeth Bennet_

* * *

 

_Dear Uncle Henry,_

_Thank you for being so understanding. I could not feel easy about Charlotte until I have seen that she truly is well. I am also still ashamed to have left our friendship in such a tenuous position with my unguarded words of reluctant congratulations upon hearing of her betrothal. I hope that this time together can allow us to reestablish our friendship. I must also admit to some curiosity at finally seeing the great Rosings Park and at making the acquaintance of the exalted Lady Catherine de Bourgh. Do you believe she and her chimney piece shall live up to the praise?_

_I am also more than happy to extend my stay with you to make up for my time in Kent, although Papa is not well pleased to, as he says, be deprived of sensible company for that much longer._

_I look forward to seeing you on the __rd of March before I journey to Kent._

_Your niece,_

_Elizabeth Bennet_

* * *

 

An assembly room, London 

Fitzwilliam Darcy stared imperiously over the crowd. What a tedious evening with even more tedious company. Not a one of these simpering debutantes had a modicum of wit or a hint of an original thought. Not like… No, he had best stop thinking of her. She was entirely unsuitable. And rather annoying as she would not leave him be. He was surprised that this mere infatuation had lasted as long as it had.

He was disturbed from his musings on a certain pair of fine eyes when the Earl of Arlington came up to him.

“Darcy.”

“My lord.”

“Enjoying the season?”

“Well enough. And yourself?”

“Yes, yes. Although, I dare say it is about to be much improved. My niece shall soon be visiting me. I believe you would like her; I dare say she is tolerable enough to tempt you.”

“Indeed, my lord. If you will excuse me, I believe Colonel Fitzwilliam has arrived.”

“By all means. One cannot neglect a noble connection.”

As Darcy left Arlington, it struck him that his speech had been most peculiar. Young ladies were not often put forth to him in such bland terms, especially by their own relations. But there was something else about what the Earl had said that sounded vaguely familiar. What was it?

* * *

Rosings Park, Kent 

“Do you play and sing Miss Bennet?”

Elizabeth answered Lady Catherine in the affirmative.

“And do any of your sisters play?”

“Yes ma’am, all were taught basic scales and songs, although only one sister still plays.

“Do you draw?”

“Yes ma’am, but very ill indeed.”

“And do your sisters draw?”

“Only a very little.”

“Has your governess left you?”

“Yes ma’am. But as I am out, my parents saw little use for a governess at my age.”

“And how old are you?”

“With three younger sisters grown up your ladyship can hardly expect me to own to it.”

“Goodness! All three younger are grown. Do you mean to say that all your sisters are out, the youngest before the eldest are married?”

“Indeed, your ladyship.”

“Miss Bennet, I am not to be trifled with. You look young. Indeed, you cannot have reached the age of majority. How old are you? I find it hard to believe you can be so old as to have all your sisters out at once.”

“I am not one and twenty, and all four of my sisters are out. Perhaps at fifteen my youngest sister is too young to be fully out in company, but I believe it would hardly promote sisterly affection or delicacy of mind if the younger were forced to stay home and forgo amusements simply because the eldest had neither the means nor the inclination to marry. Do you not agree, Sir William?”

* * *

“Are the shelves to your liking, my lady?”

Elizabeth giggled, “Hush, Charlotte! For if you say such a thing too loud your father and sister shall remember that the preservation of rank has not been observed!”

“Then do not provoke me into saying such things by turning your sharp wit to my husband’s patroness,” Charlotte retorted with a hint of a smile.

“Then do not make me laugh so, for if we are caught out it shall not be I who has to bear the brunt of Lady Catherine’s wrath.”

* * *

“Oh yes, Colonel Fitzwilliam, as the son of an earl, I am sure you know all about deprivation and hardship.” Elizabeth could barely keep from laughing. Thankfully, her sweetness of manner kept the colonel from thinking she were mocking him.

* * *

Dawley House, London 

“Elizabeth!”

“Uncle! Oh, I am so glad to be back!” Elizabeth flung herself into his arms for a comforting embrace.

Seeing her disconcerted expression, he asked, “Are you well, my dear? Did you not enjoy Kent?”

“Oh, yes; well, on the whole.”

“Oh? Did something happen?”

“Yes. No. I mean, it was a pleasant trip, but the company grew tiresome.”

“Truly?” She seemed to be dissembling, which was not like his niece. “Are you sure it is not something else?”

“No, Uncle, at least nothing I care to discuss.”

“Well… as long as you are certain you are well, I will leave you to your secrets, my dear.”

“Thank you, Uncle. I promise I am well.”

“Now, let us get you settled. Edward is out on some business for me at the moment, but will be back for supper. I hear we have a ball to attend tomorrow.”

“Uncle, you know I love to dance, but please do not put forth more prancing dandies as suitors. You have such a knack for making the acquaintance of tedious men,” Elizabeth earnestly teased with a smirk on her lips.

* * *

An assembly room, London 

Mr. Darcy was in high dudgeon. He had not wanted to come tonight, but his aunt, Lady Matlock, had threatened him with an unending stream of eligible ladies if he did not. He could not understand why she had been so insistent that he attend this particular ball, although he supposed the answer would probably present itself in the form of another vapid debutante. All he wanted was to be at home in his library with a bottle of brandy. He was still angry, although regret and depression had started to overtake some of his anger. Then someone called him, and he turned around.

“Mr. Darcy, I believe you know my son, Viscount Thetford, but not my niece. May I present my niece, Lady Elizabeth Bennet,” the earl said as he stepped aside so Mr. Darcy and Lady Elizabeth could see each other. “Was I not right? Did I not say she would be tolerable enough to tempt you? And she is a most accomplished dancer; I believe you two would pair well together.”

Mr. Darcy blanched white with embarrassment and shock. That was where he had heard that phrase before. That was why the earl’s odd speech was so familiar. No wonder she hated him! After a slight pause he recovered and said, “Of course. Miss Bennet, would you do me the honor of dancing the next with me?” Mr. Darcy did not seem to even notice the viscount, who was watching the exchange, wondering what mischief his father was up to now.

The earl was having too much fun, so did not notice his niece’s equally pale expression. “Lady Elizabeth, Darcy, Lady Elizabeth. She is my late brother’s only child. I wonder how you came to call her Miss Bennet? Oh! Silly me! You two have met already, have you not? In Hertfordshire, I believe? And Kent too, if I am not mistaken.”

“Mr. Darcy, sir, please do not feel obligated to dance with me,” Elizabeth said in a strained tone and with a rather embarrassed expression on her face.

“It is no obligation, madam.” Mr. Darcy’s face was inscrutable.

“There now! Off you two go.”

Elizabeth was mortified.

Mr. Darcy was in a daze.

* * *

The couple was fully engrossed in each other, to the point that they had begun to forget they were not alone. After dancing in silence for a few minutes, Elizabeth burst out, “Mr. Darcy, I am very sorry. I had no idea that my uncle was up to such mischief. What you must think of us!”

Mr. Darcy was silent.

“Please believe me, he has no idea of recent… events. Otherwise he would not have done what he did; he is not a person to willfully embarrass others in such circumstances. He is not a cruel man.”

Mr. Darcy did not realize that his silence was causing his companion further unease, although his angry expression was noted by the ladies of the neighboring couples, as was Elizabeth’s disconcerted expression.

“Please, Mr. Darcy, allow me to apologize for my unkind behavior when last we met. I should not have let my temper get the better of me and said such things. I heartily regret having spoken to you in such a manner.” Elizabeth stopped speaking, worried that she would only continue to babble on.

Finally noting her agitated manner, Mr. Darcy shook himself out of his shock and said, “No, Miss, I mean, Lady Elizabeth. I cannot accept your apologies.”

“I see.” Elizabeth staved off her feeling of disappointment with resentment at his proud and implacable nature.

“I cannot forgive you because there is nothing to forgive. I was most uncivil at our last meeting and let my temper get the better of me. And I have come to realize I was insulting at a time when one should not be so. And apparently entirely wrong in many of my statements.”

“You must think me so deceitful,” Elizabeth said, her low spirits evident in the drooping of her face and shoulders.

“I must admit to some curiosity as to how it is you are referred to as Miss Bennet in Hertfordshire and Kent, but Lady Elizabeth in London.”

Elizabeth felt all the embarrassment his statement could engender. “My parents, Fitzroy and Isabella Bennet, the Earl and Countess of Arlington, died when I was less than a year old. Having been recently widowed, my uncle did not feel he could take me in, so I went to the Bennets of Hertfordshire, who were distant cousins, and very close friends of my father. I was raised as one of the Bennets of Hertfordshire’s daughters. Papa, that is, Mr. Bennet, has an abhorrence of town and the absurd fawnings over people of rank, so to preserve his peace and to keep Mrs. Bennet from crowing about the connection to the entire neighborhood, I was Miss Elizabeth. I cannot say I regret the simpler childhood I led. I want to cultivate friendships of true esteem and to marry for love and cannot stand the falseness of the London marriage mart. Oh!” Elizabeth’s eyes flew open wide in mortification. For the first time, she fully comprehended what she had rejected.

“I see.”

Elizabeth felt she must explain herself, so awkwardly continued, “You were so disdainful of everything about me I could not believe you, but I see now that we perhaps want similar things: love. Not that we want to marry each other, but that we each seek genuine relationships with others.“

When Darcy did not respond Elizabeth grew even more embarrassed and said, “I have been so foolish. Please excuse me.” With that, she practically ran from him. He was left standing there with a pained and wistful expression on his face, wondering just what exactly she had meant when she had called herself foolish. He dared not hope. He went after her, but he did not find her as she hid in the shadows on the terrace.

* * *

Dawley House, London 

As soon as they arrived home Elizabeth exclaimed, “Uncle! How could you?! To so embarrass Mr. Darcy and myself! Why would you do that?”

“Were you not diverted Elizabeth? I am sorry my dear. From your letters I suspected that Mr. Darcy might hold you in some regard and, well, I felt a bit wicked I suppose. I wanted some revenge on the man for treating my favorite niece so abominably the first time he met you. I thought letting him know of your true heritage this way would be just punishment.”

“Oh, Uncle! The man did not deserve that! Indeed, he has already suffered much embarrassment and ill treatment at my hands,” Elizabeth said bitterly.

“What do you mean, my dear? I could never see you being intentionally cruel.”

“No, not on purpose. Although purposefully impertinent, resentful, and offensive, yes.”

“Elizabeth, ever since you have returned from Kent something has been bothering you. I think it best you tell me now what has happened.”

Elizabeth did not reply.

“Elizabeth, what is there between you and Mr. Darcy?”

“I…” Arlington raised an eyebrow at her.

“I refused Mr. Darcy’s offer of marriage in a very unkind manner. We fought. We each assumed things about the other that were not true.” Elizabeth whirled around to face her cousin and ordered, “Do not dare breathe a word of this to anyone!”

“Come now, Cuz, I am not such a gossip,” Edward demurred.

Elizabeth looked at him until he appeared chagrinned. Before his son could answer, the earl broke up their little aside and asked for more details. As he listened to Elizabeth’s story, he felt rather embarrassed by his actions.

* * *

A drawing room, London 

“What news, Beatrice! But are you certain?”

“I heard them myself. I saw them.”

“No,” the lady exclaimed in a scandalized tone.

“Yes. They were most assuredly speaking of a liaison. It seems that as the untitled Miss Bennet she feels free to have dalliances that the Lady Elizabeth would never consider. Rather stupid of her to involve herself with the nephew of her uncle’s paramour if she meant to keep her secret.”

“Well, perhaps she did it on purpose, to lure him into marriage, thinking he would only dally with an insignificant country miss, but that once he realized she was the daughter of an earl he would be trapped into offering for her.”

“Oooo, Cathy, you must be right! She was so nervous and he, well, I have never seen Fitzwilliam Darcy so uncontrolled.”

“Really?”

“Yes, well, his uncontrolled is another man’s stoic, but he actually let his anger show. He looked so upset and shocked! And you’ll never believe this, he actually looked at her with longing! Like he wanted to do something rather unseemly right there on the dance floor.”

“Oh my!”

“I speak the truth! Diana was there. She can confirm everything. We were standing on either side of them in the set and heard it all. Then, Lady Elizabeth fled the dance in the middle of the set and Mr. Darcy chased after her, right onto the terrace!”

* * *

Darcy House, London 

“Darcy,” said Colonel Fitzwilliam as he walked into his cousin’s study.

He received no reply. His cousin sat in a chair holding a glass of brandy whilst staring unseeingly into the fire.

“Darcy.” After yet another stretch of silence, the colonel walked right up to his cousin, waving his hand in front of his face. “Darcy!”

Darcy, disgruntled, turned his head towards his cousin. “What?”

“Good God, man, you look a fright. Do not tell me it is true? I did not believe it, but by the way you look right now I am beginning to wonder.”

“Is what true?” Darcy asked gruffly.

“That you have been having an affair with Lady Elizabeth Bennet. I told Mary that it could not possibly be true, that I knew the lady as a Miss Bennet whilst we stayed at Rosings and that said lady comported herself with the utmost decorum. As did you.”

Aghast, Darcy gaped at his cousin. “What?!”

“That Lady Elizabeth pretends to be a plain Miss Bennet so she can conduct liaisons in secret only to reveal herself to you as a lady so she can force you into marriage.”

Mr. Darcy jumped out of the chair, ready to throttle his cousin.

* * *

Fitzwilliam House, London 

“Henry, we need to talk.”

Lord Arlington tried to kiss her. L

ady Matlock turned away. “I am serious, Henry.”

“Very well.” He lead her to a settee.

“When you told me your niece and my nephew knew each other, you made it sound as if the acquaintance was merely that, an acquaintance. And that he sounded as if he were drawn to her, but that she was oblivious to his interest.”

“Yes, that is true.”

“Are you sure?” Lady Matlock looked at her lover, trying to discern whether or not he was dissembling.

“Of course. Whatever do you mean by questioning me like this?”

“It seems that there is something more to their acquaintance than you thought.”

“Well, yes, it is embarrassing to be sure. On all sides really.” Suddenly realizing why she was taking him to task, the Earl said, “I am so sorry, my dear, for humiliating your nephew like that. Had Elizabeth breathed a word to me beforehand I never would have introduced them as I did in public, and certainly would not have asked for your help in getting him to the ball. I know he is a favorite of yours.”

“How can you treat this so blithely? And do not call me a hypocrite, Lord Arlington. Just because we may be having an affair does not mean that unmarried ladies should be. And most certainly not so indiscreetly. What on earth is your niece about?”

“What the devil do you mean? How dare you say such things about my niece?! I will not have it, Susan! I will not have you spreading such scandalous falsehoods about my family and most certainly not about Elizabeth!”

* * *

Darcy House, London 

“You said what to her?” Colonel Fitzwilliam asked incredulously.

“You were not there, Richard; you did not see the mother. A more vulgar fortune hunter I have never before encountered. The youngest sisters lacked all sense of propriety and ran around chasing officers all day long whilst shouting in the most obnoxious voices to get whatever they wanted. Even the father could be indiscreet and was utterly indifferent to the embarrassing behavior of his family. Instead of checking their behavior he was more likely to laugh at them.”

The Colonel laughed, “Yes, I can see how that would get your back up, not that it justifies saying such a thing to a lady whilst proposing.” With another chuckle, the colonel asked, “So which daughter was your intended?”

“Hmm?”

“Which daughter was the mother trying to foist upon you?” When Darcy failed to respond, his cousin asked, “One of the improper, young ones?”

“Pardon?”

“Which daughter was the mother throwing at you?”

Darcy groaned, “I have been such a fool. None, Richard, none. The vulgar, matchmaking mama did not try to foist any of her daughters on me. She would extoll Bingley’s four or five thousand a year to any and all who were in hearing range, but never once did she comment on my income in a flattering way or throw one of her daughters at me. And now I know why! Idiot!”

“Darcy?” The colonel asked when his cousin did not continue his recital.

“The other night at the ball I realized what started Elizabeth’s strong dislike of me. The very first time we met - no, actually it was before we met for I refused an introduction at first - I insulted her. Good God, I insulted that beautiful woman by calling her not handsome enough to tempt me to dance. I think I may have even said she was being slighted by other men. I cannot believe what a fool I have been! No wonder she hates me! And no wonder the mother was always rude to me. It would seem that she is perhaps not the most determined fortune hunter of my acquaintance as even she could not countenance attaching one of her daughters to such a disagreeable and rude suitor. She was right. I am no gentleman,” Darcy declared as he stared forlornly into the fire, mentally castigating himself.

After a pause of some length in which Colonel Fitzwilliam was unsure what to say in response to such a declaration, he finally regained the power of speech. “That is unfortunate indeed, Darcy, but perhaps not all is lost. Lady Elizabeth did not seem to hate you when in company. True, she did not seem to hold you in awe and did tease you about your behavior in the country, but she did not seem to me as if she held you in contempt. It is obvious you will renew your suit now her reputation has been sullied thanks to the gossip mongers’ misinterpretation of an unguarded conversation. I am sure she will appreciate your gentlemanly behavior of saving her reputation and not hold such a rude comment against you.”

* * *

Dawley House, London 

“I take it, Mr. Darcy, that you are here in regards to the pernicious gossip that has been circulating.”

“Yes, my lord.”

The Earl of Arlington inscrutably stared at his niece’s suitor for a good minute before saying, “And why should I look favorably upon your suit? Lady Elizabeth is the daughter of an Earl and you the mere son of a country squire. She could easily marry a peer, my own son even. Indeed, it would allow me to keep Elizabeth close by. She is like a daughter to me and I would hate to see her go so far away as Derbyshire.”

Mr. Darcy swallowed heavily. “My lord, there is nothing I would like more than to marry your niece, but I would not force an unwanted marriage upon her. I esteem her too much to tie her to a man she hates for the rest of her life. I came because I wanted you to know that I have already addressed the gossip by telling the truth. The Darcy name is known for its integrity and I do not think anyone would accuse me of lying when they hear my embarrassing tale. I believe once people hear how my proposal of marriage was justly denied that they will acquit Lady Elizabeth of any wrong doing. To further help matters, Lord M__ supported me when I told my tale at the ___ Club this morning as he had been dancing in the same set, so heard some of our conversation. Of course, if you believe that more needs to be done to rectify the situation I will gladly listen to anything you wish to say.”

But Lord Arlington did not know what to say. He had only meant to tease Darcy, to give him a hard time after the muddle he had gotten them all in.

* * *

Keeping himself under tight regulation, Mr. Darcy quietly and calmly entered the drawing room, although he would have rather slunk from the house undetected by the object of his affections. Yet he did not retreat. He entered the sitting room, walked up to her, bowed, and politely greeted her.

“Lady Elizabeth.”

“Mr. Darcy,” she replied.

“I would like to reassure you that I have done my duty in regards to the pernicious gossip surrounding us.” Mr. Darcy tried his best not to sound as if what he was saying was said under duress.

Elizabeth prepared herself. She did not want to marry out of necessity, but with her reputation in tatters, how could she not?

“I have rectified the misunderstandings of society. I have told the gossips the truth, that we were speaking of a rejected offer of marriage and that nothing improper occurred beyond raised voices. Of course, I omitted any reference to my sister. In that, I hope you can forgive me for not being entirely transparent.” Elizabeth was uncharacteristically speechless and so Mr. Darcy filled the growing silence by continuing, “I believe, however, that given time, with the truth having been made known, all gossip shall cease.”

If there had been any remaining doubt that Mr. Darcy were not an upstanding man of the highest moral character, that put paid to it. What man would willingly make himself the laughingstock of the ton to save the reputation of the lady who had so callously rejected his offer of marriage? The ton would eat up the humiliation of such a proud man. Rousing herself from her rumination, Elizabeth stiltedly replied, “But of course. I thank you, Mr. Darcy, for so willingly opening yourself to derision to save a woman who has done naught but use you ill. You are a true gentleman, and I am sorry for ever thinking or saying otherwise.”

From there, the encounter devolved into a cascading litany of platitudes for forgiveness on both sides. Such a conversation could not be maintained above three minutes, although more out of a sense of embarrassment than a running out of ways in which to blame oneself whilst absolving the other party. Thus, the two parted awkwardly and with dissatisfaction on both sides.

* * *

An assembly room, London 

For the first time he could recall, Darcy cursed his height. Were he not so tall he would not be able to see across the crowded ballroom; his eyes would not be assaulted with the vision of Lady Elizabeth laughing and dancing with her cousin. Unlike himself and Anne, Elizabeth and this damned titled cousin of hers seemed to actually enjoy one another’s company. Seemed a handsome couple. Made for one another since birth. After all, had Lady Elizabeth not been born a lady, but a lord, she, and not this cousin, would be inheriting the earldom. Blast!

He had best retreat to Pemberley. The land always soothed his soul. Besides, Georgiana was growing weary of the city air.

* * *

Longbourne, Hertfordshire 

_Dearest Lizzy,_

_Thank you again for sending Maria and me home in the earl’s carriage. I enclose a note of thanks for him. Being under Uncle Henry’s care, the journey was swift and safe._

_I am glad to be home, although I am sorry to say we are all at sixes and sevens without you here to tease us into good humor. Mama worries that I return from London with no prospects. I know she only wants the best for me, and I wish I could be a more dutiful daughter and do as she wishes, but neither could I have attached myself to a gentleman whom I did not hold in some regard. Lydia and Kitty are in uproar because Mrs. Forster has invited Lydia to travel to Brighton as her particular companion. Lydia is wild to travel with a whole campful of soldiers, and poor Kitty laments having to stay at home with no regiment and no Lydia. Papa keeps to his study more often than usual. Mary, bless her, is as ever: a diligent reader and musician._

_The tenants […]._

_So you see, Lizzy, you are much missed, but all is well. Though Papa and I miss you most especially, please do not curtail your time with the earl. Life here at Longbourne continues apace and we shall content ourselves with knowing we shall soon see you when you stop here with the Gardiners on your way north._

_Love,_

_Jane_

* * *

Dawley House, London 

_Mr. Bennet,_

_Please inform your wife that her youngest daughter shall not go to Brighton. Instead, I have engaged a companion to tend Lydia and Kitty in Lyme, where they shall have an artists’ retreat of sorts, being able to improve their drawing and playing. Such skills will improve them in the eyes of worthy gentlemen, for their chance of catching a husband at their age is not good. By cultivating their skills, they can improve their chances of marrying well and shall not have to aspire to a mere soldier. I shall be sending the companion, a Mrs. Beresford, to journey with them on the __st of May, along with enough funds for each to commission a new gown and two bonnets whilst they are abroad. They shall be kept occupied at the sea until the __th of October._

_Wishing you and your family the best,_

_Lord Henry Bennet, Earl of Arlington_

* * *

The Starling Inn, on the road to Derbyshire 

_Dear Uncle Henry,_

_Brace yourself for a long description of the road. It is bumpy. It is dusty. It is brown. It is long._

_However, the scenery is none of those things. Well, I suppose it is a bit bumpy, considering the hills we pass. And the view is long, which is most pleasing. The sky is a lovely blue not oft seen in London, and the grass is a shade of green oft seen at Euston. The birds_ _[…]._

_Aunt Gardiner tells me we shall soon arrive in Lambton. She is rather excited, as is to be expected. I am rather apprehensive, as is to be expected. More shall I relate after seeing the place of dear Aunt’s birth, for I had best retire as we will have to have an especially early morning tomorrow if we hope to make it to Lambton by the end of the day._

_Love,_

_Lizzy_

* * *

Lambton, Derbyshire 

_Uncle,_

_It is done. We have seen each other once more and it was not as awkward as it could have been. Indeed, I believe us to now be on friendly terms. Thank the Lord._

_Today we drove up to Pemberley after hearing that the family was away for the summer. So great is the estate that I had to ask Aunt whether or not we would reach it by nightfall. When finally we did catch glimpse of the manor house it fair stole my breath away. It is situated perfectly in a valley on the far side of a lake. Do not be cross Uncle, but I must dare your displeasure and say it even surpasses Euston when it comes to the picturesque. The most delightful fountains […]._

_Whilst on the tour I found a miniature of Mr. Wickham. Unprompted, the housekeeper, a Mrs. Reynolds, told us he had grown rather wild. I fear this is but further proof of Mr. Darcy’s innocence. Especially as she had naught but good things to say of her master. Indeed, she waxed so rhapsodic that it was like listening to a paean. Aunt says she does not believe Mrs. Reynolds to have been lying or embellishing, for if Mr. Darcy were a bad master, she would have spoken more of the rooms and furniture and would have spoken of him as little as possible and not at all enthusiastically._

_Such a large house […]._

_After our tour of the house we left to traverse the grounds, whereupon I ran into Mr. Darcy! He had just arrived and a day earlier than planned too. Tomorrow his company arrives: his sister, Mr. Bingley, Miss Bingley, and Mr. and Mrs. Hurst. Oh luck! I cannot tell whether I have it in spades or not at all._

_Surprisingly, Mr. Darcy was more than cordial, welcoming, and gentlemanly to our party, even after making the acquaintance of the Gardiners. Well, perhaps I am being uncharitable. He was all things gentlemanly and sacrificing in town. It is just that I thought his generosity of spirit would not extend to the merchant class. How wrong I was. Uncle, Mr. Darcy was amiable. Amiable! Neither brooding, nor overbearing, nor bitter of spirit. He even invited Uncle Gardiner to fish on his property and pointed out the best spots. I am once more grown ashamed of my ungenerosity in attributing to him a poor character._

_On that note I shall leave you. But do not worry, I am not too downcast. For adversity, we are told, builds character. At this rate I shall be as virtuous as a nun, although without the aspirations to live a life of seclusion._

_Much love,_

_Elizabeth_

* * *

Longbourne, Hertfordshire 

_Most Beloved Uncle,_

_I am glad to hear that you and Edward are enjoying the sea. I do believe a little sea bathing shall set you up for life! Or rather, that is Mama’s opinion of sea bathing. Although I am glad to hear that sea bathing is not all you do, for variety is essential to a well balanced life. However, Edward’s new coat sounds even more ridiculous than his last one. Whatever shall he do with a second white coat?! Do tell him I said so._

_You commented in your last that my last was rather short. The reason is thus: as repayment for your wicked ways I have delayed apprising you of some rather important intelligence. Thus have I deprived you of one of your greatest delights: gossip, specifically, family gossip. Also, I did not at the time have much to relate._

_But where to begin? So much has occurred. As I told you in my last letter, I arrived home but three weeks ago to a boisterous and bored Mama. Papa at turns enjoyed greater freedom to roam the house and at others (when Mama was feeling more acutely the separation between a mother and a favorite daughter) more inclined to retreat to his study. Nothing new do I have to relate on their accounts, other than their behaviors have been more pronounced during the past week. Lydia and Kitty remain still in Lyme; we hear they are as enamored of the town as when they first arrived. Mary, now Mama has more unoccupied daughters at home between whom she can divide her attention, has once more retreated into her books. I suspect this is a direct result of having so much oftener been made to attend Mama on calls whilst I was away and Jane was tending the Gardiners’ children. Also because there has been a bit more toing and froing here than usual. The Gardiners have returned to London, as I am sure you already know. Jane, dear creature, was invigorated by taking care of their energetic children._

_There, I have given you a full accounting of our quaint family life. All that remains is to inform you that our neighbors are doing well, for there is little new neighborhood news considering the regiment has gone. To break the late summer doldrums, an assembly is to be held on the __th of September, right about the time that you and Cousin Edward shall be stopping by to whisk me away to Euston. I do recall how my dear Cuz so loves a country dance. And so I must insist that you both stay for the assembly instead of not even leaving your carriage, for you shall have a beast of a time pulling me away from Longbourne, for nothing shall keep me from seeing Jane once more dance with her betrothed. And then I must insist upon returning straightaway to Longbourne after but three months at Euston to attend Jane’s wedding._

_Oh dear, I fear I have written a most abominably long letter and so have little room left to tell you the particulars, such as the name of Jane’s betrothed and how they came to be betrothed. Well, Dearest Uncle, you shall have to be patient and await my response to your next letter, for it would be ghastly rude of me to send you two letters in a row without first waiting for your reply. Whatever would I have to tell you without first hearing your response to this letter? It would be rude of me, for all I would have to relate would be about myself and there would be no comments regarding how you and Edward are doing. That, I fear, would be unpardonable. Whatever would you do with so selfish a niece? So, my dear Uncle, I shall have to remind myself that patience is a virtue and I had best employ mine, no matter how much I would like to relate to you all the particulars. And thus, I bid you adieu._

_Your ever loving and considerate niece,_

_Elizabeth Bennet, soon to be Elizabeth Darcy_

_p.s. I forgot! How horrid of me to almost neglect to tell you that I too am engaged to be married alongside Jane in a double ceremony. Really, I am growing quite flighty in my old age._

* * *

_Dearest Uncle Henry,_

_Do you forgive me? I have been such a lax correspondent, but with all the excitement I have had to endure I pray you shall forgive me. After all, as a member of the fairer sex I can hardly be held accountable for being so easily distracted. Seen in that light, it would be most uncharitable of you to withhold your forgiveness._

_I hope that by now you shall have becalmed yourself. Never have I before seen a letter filled with so very many exclamation points and underlines. You know, I do not think it advisable to become so excited in one’s old age. At least, that is what Mama says. Indeed, she very nearly fainted upon hearing that she would soon have two daughters married._

_And now I suppose I shall stop teasing you and tell you how this all came to be. Do not worry though, I shall spare you from the florid descriptions and poetic ramblings that those in love are often wont to give._

_It started, as you may have already guessed, at Pemberley. The estate is so idyllic that I dare even Cousin Edward to not fall in love with a fair maid when the two of you visit. But what worked more on my heart was seeing Mr. Darcy at ease and so genial. He even extended an invitation to our party to stay at his home. However, Aunt Gardiner’s acquaintances being in the village, we chose to remain at the inn. This did not stop us from seeing one another every day as one of our party would inevitably find their way to Pemberley or to Lambton._

_As I told you some letters ago, Miss Darcy was as had been described to me last year, a dear, sweet girl. Report of her being a proud and disagreeable girl was thankfully, and unsurprisingly, entirely unfounded. I spent most of my time with her, for Mr. Darcy did not wish to burden me with an overabundance of his presence out of respect for our past. Since then, she and I have become fast friends and faithful correspondents. Well, perhaps I exaggerate as but a week after arriving back home at Longbourne, the Darcys and Bingleys arrived at Netherfield. But in that week Miss Darcy and I did manage to exchange a letter apiece. This, I think, bodes well for the future._

_Once back in Meryton, Mr. Bingley and Jane resolved their differences. You will be so proud of Jane! In the privacy of her bedchamber she called Miss Bingley pernicious! Pernicious! Jane called someone pernicious! Can you believe it? I am very proud of her and I hope you are too. Once the most amiable couple resolved their differences, Mr. Darcy asked to court me. You can guess what my answer was. After a brief, but meaningful, courtship of three weeks, Mr. Darcy proposed. It might seem hasty, but our previous misunderstandings helped us leap the barrier of reserved civility. We spoke candidly and frankly about our pasts and our hopes for the future. I can say with absolute certainty that Mr. Darcy and I are well matched in all the ways that matter, both mind and heart._

_Mr. Bingley proposed to Jane on the same day. It was soon settled that we would hold a double ceremony for neither Jane nor I wish to be unduly parted before assuming different surnames. That is why I hope you will consent to letting Jane journey with us to Euston and then on to town so we may commission our wedding clothes. Being a lady, I would never presume to ask you to invite our gentlemen to your estate too, although I do believe you and the gentlemen would enjoy a spot of hunting. We think it best to leave Mama to the wedding details in peace, at least for a little while. Obviously, we must journey back to Longbourne with enough time left before the wedding to finalize preparations and to say our final goodbyes of the neighbors; although Jane, who shall be living at Netherfield, will not really be saying goodbye for long._

_Now, Uncle, what think you? Did I not tell my story well? Was it not devoid of ebullient praise and rhapsodic ramblings?_

_Awaiting your reply and looking forward to seeing you soon._

_All my love,_

_Elizabeth (soon to be Darcy) Bennet_

* * *

Lady Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy walked towards one of Elizabeth’s favorite childhood haunts. With their wedding but a week away, they sought a rare moment of solitude. Since their engagement, they had had plenty of time to grow comfortable with one another; the awkwardness and embarrassment about their past misunderstandings no longer haunted them. Mr. Darcy had even learned to tell the difference between Elizabeth’s playful teases and her chiding ones, which prompted her to tease him even more now she was not at risk of being misunderstood.

“Sir, do you have any idea what you have done?” Elizabeth asked in a scandalized tone.

“I apologize, my dear. Please enlighten me,” Mr. Darcy replied with false contrition.

“You, sir, have given the Mr. Collinses of the world reason to think that they are right, that elegant ladies will first refuse the man they mean to marry. How could you so abuse my sex? And so mislead your own? For shame.”

Mr. Darcy laughed.

**Author's Note:**

> At the time of the story, Mrs. Bennet hasn't seen the Earl of Arlington in ten years. She's also terribly jealous, so tries to forget about Elizabeth's title as much as possible. That's partly why she puts her girls forward so much. And also why she took a bit of vindictive enjoyment in the idea of Elizabeth marrying Mr. Collins. However, she did quickly understand how ridiculous of an idea that would be once Mr. Bennet took her aside for a little chat. 
> 
> The neighborhood, not having seen the earl and viscount outside of their carriages in ten years has mostly forgotten about them in their day to day lives, especially as mentioning them to Mrs. Bennet leads to hearing that lady rant. Long and loud. Plus, Elizabeth never puts on airs. So when new neighbors come lease Netherfield, the established residents of the neighborhood are so used to not mentioning Elizabeth's title that they don't even think to mention it to the Bingleys. And that is how I justify the Bingleys and Darcy never having heard of Elizabeth's title. 
> 
> As for Mr. Collins, it was pretty obvious what kind of person he was from his letter, so the Bennets came to the unspoken agreement to just not mention the title to him because no one wanted to deal with that level of fawning. Hence Elizabeth not using her title at Rosings. And because she took perverse pleasure in not telling Lady Catherine that she too was the daughter of an earl. 
> 
> I shall leave it up to you, dear reader, how realistic this premise may or may not be in a small piece of comedy.


End file.
